Act 3

Act 3

Act 3, Scene 1Page 41

 

Scene 1

Enter Viola and Feste, the Fool, playing a tabor.

VIOLA Save thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live
by thy tabor?
FOOL No, sir, I live by the church.
VIOLA Art thou a churchman?
FOOL 5No such matter, sir. I do live by the church, for I
do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the
church.
VIOLA So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar if a
beggar dwell near him, or the church stands by thy
10 tabor if thy tabor stand by the church.
FOOL You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
but a chev’ril glove to a good wit. How quickly the
wrong side may be turned outward!
VIOLA Nay, that’s certain. They that dally nicely with
15 words may quickly make them wanton.
FOOL I would therefore my sister had had no name,
sir.
VIOLA Why, man?
FOOL Why, sir, her name’s a word, and to dally with
20 that word might make my sister wanton. But,
indeed, words are very rascals since bonds disgraced
them.
VIOLA Thy reason, man?

Act 3, Scene 1Page 42

 

FOOL Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words,
25 and words are grown so false I am loath to prove
reason with them.
VIOLA I warrant thou art a merry fellow and car’st for
nothing.
FOOL Not so, sir. I do care for something. But in my
30 conscience, sir, I do not care for you. If that be to
care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you
invisible.
VIOLA Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s Fool?
FOOL No, indeed, sir. The Lady Olivia has no folly. She
35 will keep no Fool, sir, till she be married, and Fools
are as like husbands as pilchers are to herrings: the
husband’s the bigger. I am indeed not her Fool but
her corrupter of words.
VIOLA I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.
FOOL 40Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the
sun; it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but
the Fool should be as oft with your master as with
my mistress. I think I saw your Wisdom there.
VIOLA Nay, an thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with
45 thee. Hold, there’s expenses for thee. Giving a
coin.

FOOL Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send
thee a beard!
VIOLA By my troth I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for
one, aside though I would not have it grow on my
50 chin.—Is thy lady within?
FOOL Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
VIOLA Yes, being kept together and put to use.
FOOL I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to
bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
VIOLA 55I understand you, sir. ’Tis well begged. Giving
another coin.

FOOL The matter I hope is not great, sir, begging but a
beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir.

Act 3, Scene 1Page 43

 

I will conster to them whence you come. Who you
are and what you would are out of my welkin—I
60 might say “element,” but the word is overworn.
He exits.
VIOLA
This fellow is wise enough to play the Fool,
And to do that well craves a kind of wit.
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
The quality of persons, and the time,
65 And, like the haggard, check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice
As full of labor as a wise man’s art:
For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
But wise men, folly-fall’n, quite taint their wit.

Enter Sir Toby and Andrew.

TOBY 70Save you, gentleman.
VIOLA And you, sir.
ANDREW Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
VIOLA Et vous aussi. Votre serviteur!
ANDREW I hope, sir, you are, and I am yours.
TOBY 75Will you encounter the house? My niece is
desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
VIOLA I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the
list of my voyage.
TOBY Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
VIOLA 80My legs do better understand me, sir, than I
understand what you mean by bidding me taste my
legs.
TOBY I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
VIOLA I will answer you with gait and entrance—but
85 we are prevented.

Enter Olivia, and Maria, her Gentlewoman.

Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain
odors on you!

Act 3, Scene 1Page 44

 

ANDREW , aside That youth’s a rare courtier. “Rain
odors,” well.
VIOLA 90My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own
most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
ANDREW , aside “Odors,” “pregnant,” and “vouchsafed.”
I’ll get ’em all three all ready.
OLIVIA Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to
95 my hearing. Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria exit.
Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA
My duty, madam, and most humble service.
OLIVIA What is your name?
VIOLA
Cesario is your servant’s name, fair princess.
OLIVIA
100 My servant, sir? ’Twas never merry world
Since lowly feigning was called compliment.
You’re servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
VIOLA
And he is yours, and his must needs be yours.
Your servant’s servant is your servant, madam.
OLIVIA
105 For him, I think not on him. For his thoughts,
Would they were blanks rather than filled with me.
VIOLA
Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalf.
OLIVIA O, by your leave, I pray you.
110 I bade you never speak again of him.
But would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres.
VIOLA Dear lady—
OLIVIA
115 Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
After the last enchantment you did here,

Act 3, Scene 1Page 45

 

A ring in chase of you. So did I abuse
Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you.
Under your hard construction must I sit,
120 To force that on you in a shameful cunning
Which you knew none of yours. What might you
think?
Have you not set mine honor at the stake
And baited it with all th’ unmuzzled thoughts
125 That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your
receiving
Enough is shown. A cypress, not a bosom,
Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak.
VIOLA
I pity you.
OLIVIA 130 That’s a degree to love.
VIOLA
No, not a grize, for ’tis a vulgar proof
That very oft we pity enemies.
OLIVIA
Why then methinks ’tis time to smile again.
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
135 If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the lion than the wolf. Clock strikes.
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you.
And yet when wit and youth is come to harvest,
140 Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
There lies your way, due west.
VIOLA Then westward ho!
Grace and good disposition attend your Ladyship.
You’ll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
OLIVIA
145 Stay. I prithee, tell me what thou think’st of me.
VIOLA
That you do think you are not what you are.

Act 3, Scene 1Page 46

 

OLIVIA
If I think so, I think the same of you.
VIOLA
Then think you right. I am not what I am.
OLIVIA
I would you were as I would have you be.
VIOLA
150 Would it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
OLIVIA , aside
O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
A murd’rous guilt shows not itself more soon
155 Than love that would seem hid. Love’s night is
noon.—
Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
By maidhood, honor, truth, and everything,
I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
160 Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
But rather reason thus with reason fetter:
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
VIOLA
165 By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
And that no woman has, nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
And so adieu, good madam. Nevermore
170 Will I my master’s tears to you deplore.
OLIVIA
Yet come again, for thou perhaps mayst move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
They exit in different directions.

 

Act 3, Scene 2Page 47

 

Scene 2

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.

ANDREW No, faith, I’ll not stay a jot longer.
TOBY Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the
5 Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon
me. I saw ’t i’ th’ orchard.
TOBY Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me
that.
ANDREW As plain as I see you now.
FABIAN 10This was a great argument of love in her toward
you.
ANDREW ’Slight, will you make an ass o’ me?
FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of
judgment and reason.
TOBY 15And they have been grand-jurymen since before
Noah was a sailor.
FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight
only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse
valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in
20 your liver. You should then have accosted her, and
with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint,
you should have banged the youth into dumbness.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was
balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let
25 time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north
of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an
icicle on a Dutchman’s beard, unless you do redeem
it by some laudable attempt either of valor or
policy.
ANDREW 30An ’t be any way, it must be with valor, for
policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a
politician.
TOBY Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis

Act 3, Scene 2Page 48

 

of valor. Challenge me the Count’s youth to fight
35 with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall
take note of it, and assure thyself there is no
love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s
commendation with woman than report of valor.
FABIAN There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
ANDREW 40Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
TOBY Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and
brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent
and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of
ink. If thou “thou”-est him some thrice, it shall not
45 be amiss, and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
bed of Ware in England, set ’em down. Go, about it.
Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.
ANDREW 50Where shall I find you?
TOBY We’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.
Sir Andrew exits.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
TOBY I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
strong or so.
FABIAN 55We shall have a rare letter from him. But you’ll
not deliver ’t?
TOBY Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on
the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were
60 opened and you find so much blood in his liver as
will clog the foot of a flea, I’ll eat the rest of th’
anatomy.
FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage
no great presage of cruelty.

Enter Maria.

TOBY 65Look where the youngest wren of mine comes.
MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves

Act 3, Scene 2Page 49

 

into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly
70 can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness.
He’s in yellow stockings.
TOBY And cross-gartered?
MARIA Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a
school i’ th’ church. I have dogged him like his
75 murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face
into more lines than is in the new map with the
augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such
a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at
80 him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll
smile and take ’t for a great favor.
TOBY Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
They all exit.

 

Scene 3

Enter Sebastian and Antonio.

SEBASTIAN
I would not by my will have troubled you,
But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,
I will no further chide you.
ANTONIO
I could not stay behind you. My desire,
5 More sharp than filèd steel, did spur me forth;
And not all love to see you, though so much
As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,
But jealousy what might befall your travel,
Being skill-less in these parts, which to a stranger,
10 Unguided and unfriended, often prove
Rough and unhospitable. My willing love,
The rather by these arguments of fear,
Set forth in your pursuit.

Act 3, Scene 3Page 50

 

SEBASTIAN My kind Antonio,
15 I can no other answer make but thanks,
And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turns
Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay.
But were my worth, as is my conscience, firm,
You should find better dealing. What’s to do?
20 Shall we go see the relics of this town?
ANTONIO
Tomorrow, sir. Best first go see your lodging.
SEBASTIAN
I am not weary, and ’tis long to night.
I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
With the memorials and the things of fame
25 That do renown this city.
ANTONIO Would you’d pardon me.
I do not without danger walk these streets.
Once in a sea fight ’gainst the Count his galleys
I did some service, of such note indeed
30 That were I ta’en here it would scarce be answered.
SEBASTIAN
Belike you slew great number of his people?
ANTONIO
Th’ offense is not of such a bloody nature,
Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel
Might well have given us bloody argument.
35 It might have since been answered in repaying
What we took from them, which, for traffic’s sake,
Most of our city did. Only myself stood out,
For which, if I be lapsèd in this place,
I shall pay dear.
SEBASTIAN 40 Do not then walk too open.
ANTONIO
It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here’s my purse.
Giving him money.
In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
Is best to lodge. I will bespeak our diet

Act 3, Scene 4Page 51

 

Whiles you beguile the time and feed your
45 knowledge
With viewing of the town. There shall you have me.
SEBASTIAN Why I your purse?
ANTONIO
Haply your eye shall light upon some toy
You have desire to purchase, and your store,
50 I think, is not for idle markets, sir.
SEBASTIAN
I’ll be your purse-bearer and leave you
For an hour.
ANTONIO To th’ Elephant.
SEBASTIAN I do remember.
They exit in different directions.

 

Scene 4

Enter Olivia and Maria.

OLIVIA , aside
I have sent after him. He says he’ll come.
How shall I feast him? What bestow of him?
For youth is bought more oft than begged or
borrowed.
5 I speak too loud.—
Where’s Malvolio? He is sad and civil
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.
Where is Malvolio?
MARIA He’s coming, madam, but in very strange manner.
10 He is sure possessed, madam.
OLIVIA Why, what’s the matter? Does he rave?
MARIA No, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your
Ladyship were best to have some guard about you if
he come, for sure the man is tainted in ’s wits.
OLIVIA
15 Go call him hither. Maria exits. I am as mad as he,
If sad and merry madness equal be.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 52

 

Enter Maria with Malvolio.

How now, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO Sweet lady, ho, ho!
OLIVIA Smil’st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad
20 occasion.
MALVOLIO Sad, lady? I could be sad. This does make
some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering,
but what of that? If it please the eye of one, it is
with me as the very true sonnet is: “Please one, and
25 please all.”
OLIVIA Why, how dost thou, man? What is the matter
with thee?
MALVOLIO Not black in my mind, though yellow in my
legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall
30 be executed. I think we do know the sweet Roman
hand.
OLIVIA Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO To bed? “Ay, sweetheart, and I’ll come to
thee.”
OLIVIA 35God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and
kiss thy hand so oft?
MARIA How do you, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO At your request? Yes, nightingales answer
daws!
MARIA 40Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness
before my lady?
MALVOLIO “Be not afraid of greatness.” ’Twas well
writ.
OLIVIA What mean’st thou by that, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO 45“Some are born great—”
OLIVIA Ha?
MALVOLIO “Some achieve greatness—”
OLIVIA What sayst thou?
MALVOLIO “And some have greatness thrust upon
50 them.”

Act 3, Scene 4Page 53

 

OLIVIA Heaven restore thee!
MALVOLIO “Remember who commended thy yellow
stockings—”
OLIVIA Thy yellow stockings?
MALVOLIO 55“And wished to see thee cross-gartered.”
OLIVIA Cross-gartered?
MALVOLIO “Go to, thou art made, if thou desir’st to be
so—”
OLIVIA Am I made?
MALVOLIO 60“If not, let me see thee a servant still.”
OLIVIA Why, this is very midsummer madness!

Enter Servant.

SERVANT Madam, the young gentleman of the Count
Orsino’s is returned. I could hardly entreat him
back. He attends your Ladyship’s pleasure.
OLIVIA 65I’ll come to him. Servant exits. Good Maria, let
this fellow be looked to. Where’s my Cousin Toby?
Let some of my people have a special care of him. I
would not have him miscarry for the half of my
dowry.
Olivia and Maria exit in different directions.
MALVOLIO 70O ho, do you come near me now? No worse
man than Sir Toby to look to me. This concurs
directly with the letter. She sends him on purpose
that I may appear stubborn to him, for she incites
me to that in the letter: “Cast thy humble slough,”
75 says she. “Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with
servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of
state; put thyself into the trick of singularity,” and
consequently sets down the manner how: as, a sad
face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit
80 of some Sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her,
but it is Jove’s doing, and Jove make me thankful!
And when she went away now, “Let this fellow be
looked to.” “Fellow!” Not “Malvolio,” nor after my

Act 3, Scene 4Page 54

 

degree, but “fellow.” Why, everything adheres together,
85 that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a
scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe
circumstance—what can be said? Nothing that can
be can come between me and the full prospect of
my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and
90 he is to be thanked.

Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

TOBY Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all
the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion
himself possessed him, yet I’ll speak to him.
FABIAN Here he is, here he is.—How is ’t with you, sir?
95 How is ’t with you, man?
MALVOLIO Go off, I discard you. Let me enjoy my
private. Go off.
MARIA , to Toby Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks
within him! Did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady
100 prays you to have a care of him.
MALVOLIO Aha, does she so?
TOBY , to Fabian and Maria Go to, go to! Peace, peace.
We must deal gently with him. Let me alone.—How
do you, Malvolio? How is ’t with you? What, man,
105 defy the devil! Consider, he’s an enemy to mankind.
MALVOLIO Do you know what you say?
MARIA , to Toby La you, an you speak ill of the devil,
how he takes it at heart! Pray God he be not
bewitched!
FABIAN 110Carry his water to th’ wisewoman.
MARIA Marry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning
if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than
I’ll say.
MALVOLIO How now, mistress?
MARIA 115O Lord!
TOBY Prithee, hold thy peace. This is not the way. Do
you not see you move him? Let me alone with
him.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 55

 

FABIAN No way but gentleness, gently, gently. The
120 fiend is rough and will not be roughly used.
TOBY , to Malvolio Why, how now, my bawcock? How
dost thou, chuck?
MALVOLIO Sir!
TOBY Ay, biddy, come with me.—What, man, ’tis not
125 for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang
him, foul collier!
MARIA Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby; get
him to pray.
MALVOLIO My prayers, minx?
MARIA , to Toby 130No, I warrant you, he will not hear of
godliness.
MALVOLIO Go hang yourselves all! You are idle, shallow
things. I am not of your element. You shall
know more hereafter. He exits.
TOBY 135Is ’t possible?
FABIAN If this were played upon a stage now, I could
condemn it as an improbable fiction.
TOBY His very genius hath taken the infection of the
device, man.
MARIA 140Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air
and taint.
FABIAN Why, we shall make him mad indeed.
MARIA The house will be the quieter.
TOBY Come, we’ll have him in a dark room and
145 bound. My niece is already in the belief that he’s
mad. We may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his
penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath,
prompt us to have mercy on him, at which time we
will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a
150 finder of madmen. But see, but see!

Enter Sir Andrew.

FABIAN More matter for a May morning.
ANDREW , presenting a paper Here’s the challenge.
Read it. I warrant there’s vinegar and pepper in ’t.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 56

 

FABIAN Is ’t so saucy?
ANDREW 155Ay, is ’t. I warrant him. Do but read.
TOBY Give me. He reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art,
thou art but a scurvy fellow.
FABIAN Good, and valiant.
TOBY reads Wonder not nor admire not in thy mind
160 why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason
for ’t.

FABIAN A good note, that keeps you from the blow of
the law.
TOBY reads Thou com’st to the Lady Olivia, and in my
165 sight she uses thee kindly. But thou liest in thy throat;
that is not the matter I challenge thee for.

FABIAN Very brief, and to exceeding good sense—less.
TOBY reads I will waylay thee going home, where if it be
thy chance to kill me—

FABIAN 170Good.
TOBY reads Thou kill’st me like a rogue and a villain.
FABIAN Still you keep o’ th’ windy side of the law.
Good.
TOBY reads Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon
175 one of our souls. He may have mercy upon mine, but
my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as
thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
Andrew Aguecheek.

If this letter move him not, his legs cannot. I’ll
180 give ’t him.
MARIA You may have very fit occasion for ’t. He is now
in some commerce with my lady and will by and
by depart.
TOBY Go, Sir Andrew. Scout me for him at the corner
185 of the orchard like a bum-baily. So soon as ever
thou seest him, draw, and as thou draw’st, swear
horrible, for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath,
with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives
manhood more approbation than ever proof itself
190 would have earned him. Away!

Act 3, Scene 4Page 57

 

ANDREW Nay, let me alone for swearing. He exits.
TOBY Now will not I deliver his letter, for the behavior
of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good
capacity and breeding; his employment between
195 his lord and my niece confirms no less. Therefore,
this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed
no terror in the youth. He will find it comes from a
clodpoll. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by
word of mouth, set upon Aguecheek a notable
200 report of valor, and drive the gentleman (as I know
his youth will aptly receive it) into a most hideous
opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This
will so fright them both that they will kill one
another by the look, like cockatrices.

Enter Olivia and Viola.

FABIAN 205Here he comes with your niece. Give them
way till he take leave, and presently after him.
TOBY I will meditate the while upon some horrid
message for a challenge.
Toby, Fabian, and Maria exit.
OLIVIA
I have said too much unto a heart of stone
210 And laid mine honor too unchary on ’t.
There’s something in me that reproves my fault,
But such a headstrong potent fault it is
That it but mocks reproof.
VIOLA
With the same ’havior that your passion bears
215 Goes on my master’s griefs.
OLIVIA
Here, wear this jewel for me. ’Tis my picture.
Refuse it not. It hath no tongue to vex you.
And I beseech you come again tomorrow.
What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny,
220 That honor, saved, may upon asking give?

Act 3, Scene 4Page 58

 

VIOLA
Nothing but this: your true love for my master.
OLIVIA
How with mine honor may I give him that
Which I have given to you?
VIOLA I will acquit you.
OLIVIA
225 Well, come again tomorrow. Fare thee well.
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
She exits.

Enter Toby and Fabian.

TOBY Gentleman, God save thee.
VIOLA And you, sir.
TOBY That defense thou hast, betake thee to ’t. Of what
230 nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know
not, but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as
the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end. Dismount
thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy
assailant is quick, skillful, and deadly.
VIOLA 235You mistake, sir. I am sure no man hath any
quarrel to me. My remembrance is very free and
clear from any image of offense done to any man.
TOBY You’ll find it otherwise, I assure you. Therefore,
if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your
240 guard, for your opposite hath in him what youth,
strength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal.
VIOLA I pray you, sir, what is he?
TOBY He is knight dubbed with unhatched rapier and
on carpet consideration, but he is a devil in private
245 brawl. Souls and bodies hath he divorced three, and
his incensement at this moment is so implacable
that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death
and sepulcher. “Hob, nob” is his word; “give ’t or
take ’t.”
VIOLA 250I will return again into the house and desire

Act 3, Scene 4Page 59

 

some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have
heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely
on others to taste their valor. Belike this is a
man of that quirk.
TOBY 255Sir, no. His indignation derives itself out of a very
competent injury. Therefore get you on and give
him his desire. Back you shall not to the house,
unless you undertake that with me which with as
much safety you might answer him. Therefore on,
260 or strip your sword stark naked, for meddle you
must, that’s certain, or forswear to wear iron about
you.
VIOLA This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do
me this courteous office, as to know of the knight
265 what my offense to him is. It is something of my
negligence, nothing of my purpose.
TOBY I will do so.—Signior Fabian, stay you by this
gentleman till my return. Toby exits.
VIOLA Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
FABIAN 270I know the knight is incensed against you even
to a mortal arbitrament, but nothing of the circumstance
more.
VIOLA I beseech you, what manner of man is he?
FABIAN Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read
275 him by his form, as you are like to find him in the
proof of his valor. He is indeed, sir, the most skillful,
bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly
have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk
towards him? I will make your peace with him if I
280 can.
VIOLA I shall be much bound to you for ’t. I am one
that had rather go with Sir Priest than Sir Knight, I
care not who knows so much of my mettle.
They exit.

Enter Toby and Andrew.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 60

 

TOBY Why, man, he’s a very devil. I have not seen such
285 a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard,
and all, and he gives me the stuck-in with such
a mortal motion that it is inevitable; and on the
answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hits the
ground they step on. They say he has been fencer
290 to the Sophy.
ANDREW Pox on ’t! I’ll not meddle with him.
TOBY Ay, but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can
scarce hold him yonder.
ANDREW Plague on ’t! An I thought he had been
295 valiant, and so cunning in fence, I’d have seen him
damned ere I’d have challenged him. Let him let
the matter slip, and I’ll give him my horse, gray
Capilet.
TOBY I’ll make the motion. Stand here, make a good
300 show on ’t. This shall end without the perdition of
souls. Aside. Marry, I’ll ride your horse as well as I
ride you.

Enter Fabian and Viola.

Toby crosses to meet them.
Aside to Fabian. I have his horse to take up the
quarrel. I have persuaded him the youth’s a devil.
FABIAN , aside to Toby 305He is as horribly conceited of
him, and pants and looks pale as if a bear were at his
heels.
TOBY , to Viola There’s no remedy, sir; he will fight
with you for ’s oath sake. Marry, he hath better
310 bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now
scarce to be worth talking of. Therefore, draw for
the supportance of his vow. He protests he will not
hurt you.
VIOLA Pray God defend me! Aside. A little thing
315 would make me tell them how much I lack of a
man.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 61

 

FABIAN Give ground if you see him furious.
Toby crosses to Andrew.
TOBY Come, Sir Andrew, there’s no remedy. The
gentleman will, for his honor’s sake, have one bout
320 with you. He cannot by the duello avoid it. But he
has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier,
he will not hurt you. Come on, to ’t.
ANDREW , drawing his sword Pray God he keep his
oath!
VIOLA , drawing her sword
325 I do assure you ’tis against my will.

Enter Antonio.

ANTONIO , to Andrew
Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offense, I take the fault on me.
If you offend him, I for him defy you.
TOBY You, sir? Why, what are you?
ANTONIO , drawing his sword
330 One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
TOBY , drawing his sword
Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.

Enter Officers.

FABIAN O, good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.
TOBY , to Antonio I’ll be with you anon.
VIOLA , to Andrew 335Pray, sir, put your sword up, if
you please.
ANDREW Marry, will I, sir. And for that I promised
you, I’ll be as good as my word. He will bear you
easily, and reins well.
FIRST OFFICER 340This is the man. Do thy office.
SECOND OFFICER Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of
Count Orsino.
ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 62

 

FIRST OFFICER
No, sir, no jot. I know your favor well,
345 Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.—
Take him away. He knows I know him well.
ANTONIO
I must obey. To Viola. This comes with seeking
you.
But there’s no remedy. I shall answer it.
350 What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed,
But be of comfort.
SECOND OFFICER 355 Come, sir, away.
ANTONIO , to Viola
I must entreat of you some of that money.
VIOLA What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have showed me here,
And part being prompted by your present trouble,
360 Out of my lean and low ability
I’ll lend you something. My having is not much.
I’ll make division of my present with you.
Hold, there’s half my coffer. Offering him money.
ANTONIO Will you deny me now?
365 Is ’t possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.
VIOLA 370 I know of none,
Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
375 Inhabits our frail blood—
ANTONIO O heavens themselves!

Act 3, Scene 4Page 63

 

SECOND OFFICER Come, sir, I pray you go.
ANTONIO
Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatched one half out of the jaws of death,
380 Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
And to his image, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
FIRST OFFICER
What’s that to us? The time goes by. Away!
ANTONIO
But O, how vile an idol proves this god!
385 Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
None can be called deformed but the unkind.
Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o’erflourished by the devil.
FIRST OFFICER
390 The man grows mad. Away with him.—Come,
come, sir.
ANTONIO Lead me on.
Antonio and Officers exit.
VIOLA , aside
Methinks his words do from such passion fly
That he believes himself; so do not I.
395 Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!
TOBY Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian. We’ll
whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws.
Toby, Fabian, and Andrew move aside.
VIOLA , aside
He named Sebastian. I my brother know
400 Yet living in my glass. Even such and so
In favor was my brother, and he went
Still in this fashion, color, ornament,
For him I imitate. O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!
She exits.

Act 3, Scene 4Page 64

 

TOBY 405A very dishonest, paltry boy, and more a coward
than a hare. His dishonesty appears in leaving his
friend here in necessity and denying him; and for
his cowardship, ask Fabian.
FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious
410 in it.
ANDREW ’Slid, I’ll after him again and beat him.
TOBY Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy
sword.
ANDREW An I do not—
FABIAN 415Come, let’s see the event.
TOBY I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet.
They exit.